…And we’re off!

Flying out to Ottawa for the school trip tomorrow.  So no updates for a while, but probably a massive one when I return.

This is exactly what I mean

I think I just peed a little.

You cannot seriously expect me to think this is childish and not brain-melting incredible. You might as well just ask me to stop all this annoying mitosis while you’re at it.

I’m not a total incompetent…

… but I do play one in real life.

Forgot to post this earlier. After several attempts over the course of my life to learn origami, I eventually just gave up. Even the basic stuff somehow stymied me at every opportunity. It became my secret shame that I could not wrap my fingers and brain around the concept. I can design, build and test insanely complex software systems, yet I could not master the comparatively simple task of folding paper.

Then last week, the students at school showed me how to do it. And in a single moment, like angels descending from heaven to a trumpet fanfare, it somehow suddenly made sense. Here’s to the teachers becoming the teached!

I made these.

I Don’t Wanna Grow Up

You know, I always felt a little awkward when I picked up a new toy or gewgaw just because I thought it looked cool. “Is this really the sort of thing an (insert arbitrary number here) year old should be buying? Aren’t I too old for this by at least several decades?”. I have always been very insecure about myself, and especially the parts of my personality that I thought the public in general disapproved of. Then today, I stumbled across this little morsel of wisdom:

I think the problem a lot of people have is they think they need to outgrow toys. I really don’t think getting older matters as long as you never stop playing.

This is a grown man about my age speaking about his love of Pokemon and Star Wars, and how he hopes to share them with his son. And it’s hard for me to find fault with his position.

So you know what? Fuck it, I don’t care anymore. I’m going to take the fact I look half my age and really start acting like it, only without the teenage angst and awkwardness. You hear that, haters? I’m going to play with my Gundams and my video games, read my comic books and watch my cartoons, and headbang to Iron Maiden, while you sneer at me for acting weird and juvenile. I will bounce from cool thing to cool thing and share my love with those I care about, while you just get older and more spiteful. And when we both die, I’ll have enjoyed my life at no one’s expense but my own, whereas the rest of ya probably have nothing to show for your existence but 2 divorces and the clap. HA HA!

And just so you can see I have already begun to embrace this:

What’s better than a giant robot? Giant Robot Samurai!

Can’t read ‘em, but the pictures are pretty

Call me Solid Snake.

Assembled Strike Noir. Kickass.

How the hell did I get here so soon

Of Whisky and Boredom

While this story may not seem interesting, there is this interesting nugget part way through:

The lead singer of Iron Maiden, Bruce Dickinson, who works as a pilot for the UK charter airline Astraeus, flew a plane back to the UK from Sharm El Sheikh. He said people had given up leave to get a crew together for the flight.

While it would certainly be terrible to be stranded in another country after your airline collapsed, I think it would have been awesome to be on that flight.

“Hi, this is your pilot, Captain Dickinson. We’re just passing over Cairo, if you look to your left you’ll see a 500 foot tall replica of the cover of Powerslave. Everyone, in preparation for landing, please fasten your seat belts and throw up the horns.”

On another topic, observe this visual aid I made for class:

Take careful note of the fact that my kanji is pretty good, and my cow sucks ass. There’s probably some psychological insight there, but I’ll be damned if I can figure out what.

Welcome to Planet Motherf*cker

God. Dammit.

The one who strips your soul is the one that got away

Still Alive

In my head I can hear “Ode to Joy” in the background as they fire it up.

There will be cake.

I’m making a note here, “Huge Success”

 

Homecoming

How could I have forgotten about you. Looks like the shift from Japanese developers to Stateside hasn’t had too much of an effect on the Silent Hill “feel”. I kind of wish they hadn’t incorporated that “peel back” effect from the Movie Whose Name Shall Not Be Spoken, because anything that connects the superb games to the cinematic letdown is a poor choice.

I see him in my nightmares.

Wait, it drops on September 30th? Strange that they would move the ship date up from the original Halloween ‘08. Oh well, I don’t really mind having it available earlier than I thought, but this is the final nail in the coffin of my fiscal responsibility. I need a PS3, and I need it now. Maybe while I’m in Canada I can grab one, though I will probably be grossly overcharged for it…

Speaking of getting screwed, looks like they’re making a Silent Hill 2. Oh, ecstasy. I fully expect Hollywood to punch up the story like they did for the first one. There will be no surprise when I walk into the theatre on opening night only to find that James Sunderland is now an international superspy with a robotic arm and a talking monkey sidekick.

Now it’s too late, too late for me
This town will eventually take me
Too late, too late for me
This town will win

Dawn of Victory

Sports Day has come and gone, and what an exciting day it was. It’s much easier to just show the photos than try to describe it. If you’re wondering why there’s no photos of the boys’ races, it’s because I was impromptu drafted, along with Kyoto-sensei, into participating in the first race (for fun, not really competing), and then I sat in the middle of the field with the kids until the boys were done. Overall, it was a lot of fun.

Sports Day ‘08

No pictures of the enkai because I forgot my camera. After a long and treacherous drive up the side of a mountain, listening to sensei’s engine howl like a banshee, we made it to the hotel, Kassel. It was done up like a German hunting lodge, but with tennis courts and (inexplicably) a huge picture of a Highlander in the foyer. We had dinner out on the terrace, with little grills and huge plates of beef, seafood and veggies. The food was pretty good, and I ended up eating some things I wouldn’t have tried otherwise. I ate whole ika (squid), tentacles and all, and most of a fish on a stick. I just couldn’t eat the head; some lines I’m not ready to cross.

Then of course, there was the drinking. To excess. Again. Shochu (potato liquor) is pretty good, but I still prefer saki. Many of the teachers seem to be impressed by my alcohol tolerance. Even one or two beers seem to knock them pretty loopy. After 3 or so pints of beer, a big glass of shochu and about half a bottle each of red and white wine, we retired to the lounge for chatting. I’m not exactly sure, but my Japanese comprehension seems to increase as I have more to drink. Some of us then spent the night at the hotel, which I don’t really remember. And the morning was pretty rough too. I forgot that wine always seems to make the next day worse.

I’m not sure either, but I think one of the teachers challenged me to a foot race later this week. As out of shape as I am, I think this is a forgone conclusion, but we’ll have to see.

With your holy armour, the steel in your hand
Fly, angel of bloody revenge!

School’s Out

My second day at Okuganaya Elementary just finished, and I am beat. Playing with those kids should be an Olympic event. Anyone who says, “You just ran around with the kids for a while and you’re exhausted? What a wuss”, has obviously never dealt with children for eight hours before. I’m sore in places I didn’t know I had.

It’s kind of nice to work with the younger kids for a change. A lot of the junior high students seem to have already started with the “gaijin stare”, where they look at you like some kind of rare but unpleasant animal. Not all of them, or even most of them, but it’s certainly enough that you feel a little uncomfortable sometimes.

Not the elementary kids. They’re just glad to have someone around they can play with. I spent several hours this afternoon playing onigokko (hide and seek, basically), and giving piggyback and helicopter rides to the kids. And arm-wrestling a few times, which was kind of odd. Then there was gym class, where I helped them practice their cheering, and then we played tag and hoolahoops for an hour. We had lunch with the kids too; and they already set aside a special place for me at the second and third graders’ table. I’m getting along pretty well with all of them.

Actually, the boys seem to be pretty indifferent to me, but the girls can’t get enough. I guess it’s because of one little seven year old ringleader (who shall remain nameless on the interwebs) who keeps calling me Harry Potter and dragging everyone around. Literally, she’ll grab your hand and drag you whether you want to or not. Even the girls who were a little scared or wary of me seemed to warm up once she dragged them into a game with me. I guess I just need a similar go-between with the boys before they start to relax.

Sports Day at Asago Junior High is tomorrow, followed by another enkai in Ikuno. Expect lots of pics of the one after I sober up from the other.

We can’t even think of a word that rhymes