Revenge of the Zombie

Well, I do love me some Splatterhouse. This just sweetens the deal. Looks like the uncensored version as well, which I only ever saw in an arcade (and which was subsequently pulled from said arcade after a month).

Hopefully, what we’re looking at in this new Splatterhouse is gameplay similar to God of War, but with B-movie horror trappings. I look forward to pulping zombies with a 2X4 very soon.

The horror...

From the grave I will escape

Orgasmatron

Oh snap!

I'd be lost without this chart.

So I guess someone is attempting to stir up trouble. Over a five-year old game. That was never released in the West (at least not legally). Now, as my boundless anger simmers over, here are my thoughts, in no particular order or coherence:

1. Seriously CNN, is there really an epidemic of American kids downloading an ancient (in Internet years) game in another language that was only intended for adults in the first place? With all the actual rape going on in the world, not to mention wars, murders, genocide, human trafficking, and all manner of atrocities, you’re freaking out over this? You guys need a hobby.
2. Freedom of Speech. Remember that? It applies to things you don’t like too. If you are suggesting it shouldn’t, then I would like you and everyone else to shut up and stop talking.
   

   Lighten up, Francis.

3. Is this a game? From what I’ve seen, not really. Is it in poor taste? Most definitely. Would I want to associate with people who would play this? Hell no, the idea creeps me out. But no one is being forced to play this game. People are adults, and you should trust them to make their own decisions. You can’t legislate morality, only ethics.
4. This is a textbook Hasty Generalization Fallacy. Never allow your emotional reaction to dictate your response, use your rational mind instead. You’ll end up looking like less of an idiot in the long run. And honestly, the faulty logic offends me more than the racism or the game itself.
   

   Use your head.

5. Rape and child abuse are very real problems. But what is being suggested, by banning games and literature that portray these things, is quite ludicrous; it amounts to giving human rights to people who don’t exist. There is a word for this sort of behaviour, you know.
6. Mr. Nogami Takeshi – that was beautiful. I don’t agree with everything you said, but that was a wonderful “do shut up, sir” letter. And the Biblical quote? Priceless. Far too many people like to use religion as a stick to beat others about the head; I like it when it’s used to put hypocrites in their place.

So, in summary: Game? – tasteless. Outrage? – manufactured. Shit given? – Negative.

Never listen to other people.

Hypocrisy made paramount
Paranoia the law

The World Needs a Hero

There are smart criminals, there are dumb criminals, and then there are guys like this.

Just, wow. Not only do you try to steal the game at a convention, where the staff are gonna be watching people like a hawk anyway, but you actually tell them what you are trying to do? You are not nearly as brilliant a thief as you think you are.

You think you're this good, but you're not.

Now, if what he said is true, he just wanted to try it with his friends, perhaps we can be a little lenient. It could just be a case of a fan who made a dumb decision and got a little carried away. My normal instinct is to side with the little guy against the corporation, so I want to believe this was the case.

But wait, there’s more!  Now we find out that not only has he modded consoles so he could play pirated games, he was banned from XBox Live for playing pirated games online! This just keeps getting better and better!

Note: this will not protect your identity online.

It does raise a few troubling issues. Hopefully this will not affect the spirit of community and camaraderie that has made PAX so successful. And of course, it highlights the continuing struggle between Internet douchebags and soulless corporate drones. Normally, however, you don’t see them being this civil to each other.

Most importantly, it brings up the old topic of, how do we define “theft” in a digital culture? Assuming it was true, he only wanted to play with his friends, no intent to distribute. Is this theft? Yes, he is playing without having to pay, but theft involves depriving the rightful owner of something. The developer still has the original code (assuming this twit didn’t intend to erase the original once he finished downloading it).

One can, and often has, argue that the developer is out the money that should have been payed; but if said twit could not/would not ever pay, are they really out that money? Does the fact they have not lost anything in a physical sense (existentially, perhaps, but not physically) diminish or eliminate the crime? Or merely alter the crime, or perhaps the definition of it?

Pardon me while I ruminate.

On a completely unrelated topic, they turned the LHC on again yesterday and set a record for high-energy collisions. Just like your mom!

Yesterday’s answer has nothing to do with today’s question

Yeah Right

…by the way, I’m back. This blog has gone unloved for far too long, so I think I’m going to start posting my random crap here instead of spamming Facebook with political rants and funny pictures.

I know I said this before, but this time I really, really mean it. For real.

You can't spell "lies" without "I".

Machine

Here we go again.

I never tire of your antics, Sony. Patching a system to remove functionality? What other company would do something like that? Microsoft may be a bunch of twits, but once they put something in, it stays in.

Like bugs, for example.

How I long for the days when buying something meant, you know, owning it. If the idea behind Fair Use had not been demonized as the Internet became ascendant, the fact that I paid for your hardware would mean I could do whatever I wanted with it.

Changing into something less than human
No longer part of this machine

Shot Down In Flames

I am not surprised in the least.

Sony, you’ve been doing this long enough, you should know at this point how to market a platform. Or failing that, you should look at Nintendo, or Microsoft (the Xbox part, not the rest of it) and learn from them. Let’s take a look back at what you’ve done in your ill-conceived attempts to convince people your platform is the one they need:

• Dismissing the Wii as a “toy” and a “fad”. Yeah, them youngsters and their rock’n'roll music and their fancy computators, eh?
• Despite the fact your console is quantifiably in last place, claiming you are winning the console war. Cognitive dissonance much?
• Refusing to pay up to keep DLC from being platform exclusive. DLC is no longer considered a bonus, especially if you charge for it. It’s integral now. Swallow your pride and pony up.
• Yanking out the backwards compatibility, claiming it’s costing too much to produce. Can’t help but notice you haven’t announced a price cut yet. I know I love paying the same price for less features.
• Those creepy commercials. Seriously, who approved those? Is your advertising agency on LSD?
• A noticeably lacking library. Wasn’t so bad before you cut BC, since you could just play PS2 games. Now that you’ve moved to make the PS3 a separate platform, you need more titles. In other words, “LOL no gaemes on PS3!!1!”
• Making your console hard to develop for. This is so ridiculous I can’t even think of something funny to say.

I’m not saying you didn’t do some things right; the PS3 is, in terms of raw power, superior. The combination BluRay player and console is appealing to lots of folks. Games are not region locked. And you did finally break down and put together a decent online network.

Make it happen, Sony.

But right now, your console is in last place, behind the machine it was supposed to replace, and even Microsoft has more goodwill from gamers right now than you. Cut the price and soon, throw money at developers, have your PR drones focus on your verifiable good points rather than badmouthing your competitors and making things up. Things will turn around if you make an effort. Or you can be the next 3DO, it’s up to you.

Maybe there on the edge is your hope
But you don’t look down

Cthulhu Strikes Back!

So it sounds like Muramasa: The Demon Blade will be arriving in a few months. With the follow-up to Odin Sphere finally getting a release date, and the fact that MadWorld has done fairly well in both reviews and sales, it may finally be time for me to break down and get a Wii. Since the chronic shortage seems to have finally alleviated, it shouldn’t be difficult. Other than the fact I’m chronically short on another resource, spending money, nowadays. Perhaps I need to send some peasants out to find another gold mine.

Demon Octopus or Cthulhu? Is there a difference?

Well we almost all died, and Johnny’s out of his mind,
And though we never found Yig, we had a hell of a good time!

Oh Man I’m Lazy

Well, how about that. Been about 4 months give or take since the last time I posted anything. I blame Facebook for making it easier for me to post whatever random thought or cool thing enters my head.

Of course, that’s what this was for, and I’m going to stick to it. Gonna ease my way back into venting my spleen into the all-consuming void of the Internet. For now, here’s something that seems frighteningly plausible:

He probably would, too.

Fire Up The Blades

I have not yet picked up any of the splat books for 4th Edition, as I figured it was easier and smarter to do so on my infrequent visits to the English side of the world, rather than paying the book’s cost in shipping fees. So instead, I have been checking out information on the books, and found an interesting tidbit in a review of the Adventurer’s Vault:

One useful inclusion is a “move the magic” ritual, that allows you to move an enchantment from one weapon to another, so if that +2 Sunblade drops on a scimitar, but you want it on a khopesh, you’re good to go.

Well, finally. I’ve been frustrated with that sort of thing for years, and it’s nice they finally added a little something to take care of it. How many times have you heard something like this during a game?

“Awesome, a +5 Holy Avenger of Ultimate Destruction! Oh wait, it’s what kind of weapon? Damn, nobody’s proficient with that, put it on the sell for healing potions pile, then…”

That whole scenario has never been in keeping with the heroic conceit in D&D. It’s difficult to feel like an epic warrior when the Sword of Angel’s Tears that you risked your life to wrench from the Hellstone turns out to be a tulwar and no one can use it without slicing their own arm off. Accidental amputations are not the things sagas are made of.

Cut down by a Demon’s Blade
By strange forces it was made

This Is Why I Hate Hollywood Redux

When I read this I actually gagged a little.

Seriously people, if you are ever tempted to watch I Am Legend, just go watch the original with Vincent Price.

You will delight to the abilities of one of the greatest actors Hollywood has produced, and as a bonus, you won’t ever have to roll your eyes at Mister Smith’s “acting”, if you can even call it that.

I’m not being elitist here; I’m just trying to prevent another Wild Wild West.